October 2023 update: These are a small selection of the latest testimonials - if you are still not convinced, I can send you more!
Dana & her daughter Yasmeen
Why Dana got in touch:
‘My 5 year-old daughter was getting nervous at mealtimes and started to refuse to sit at the table, saying things like it was smelly! I’d got into the habit of using sweets as a reward for getting her to the table – I know this is wrong but wasn’t sure how to get out of it, she is very stubborn! She was also very fussy about different textures and didn’t like sauces and was in charge of what she wanted to eat at mealtimes and I wanted help in changing that.’
How I helped:
We discussed the feeding approach The Division of Responsibility and how to implement it practically.
I showed Dana how to reduce pressure on herself and her daughter at mealtimes with some simple mindset tools (not so simple of course when you are in a crisis and don’t know what to do first!) I also showed her how to reduce expectations at mealtimes and how big a role language can play at the table. Dana now understands how to manage food refusal without losing her temper or taking it personally.
What Dana now says:
‘I was so overwhelmed with all the advice out there on fussy eating, I didn’t know where to start – Grace’s practical program fixed that for sure!
Grace helped me realise that my goal wasn’t instant gratification of the ‘perfect meal’, but thinking more long-term with her easy-to-understand ideas. We ended the call with agreeing that I would treat my daughter like a dinner guest – the idea was uplifting!
Yasmeen has also improved a lot in her school eating, especially that she is initiating trying new things herself. Yasmeen is excited that we eat together more as a family now.’
SESSIONS NEEDED: 1 (£60 FOR 1.5 hour PHONE CALL ) MORE INFO HERE
Fiona & her daughter Winnie
Why fiona got in touch:
'I’d started to feel a little overwhelmed with mealtimes and had noticed my daughter becoming a little fussy and myself in a bit of a rut with what to offer. I was after some emotional support as well as practical ideas to increase variety.'
How I helped:
I offered a listening, experienced ear and talked Fiona through my step-by-step practical program on managing fussiness, a plan you can put into place straight after the call. We also discussed alternative ways not to offer an alternative meal too!
What fiona now says:
‘As a new mum it can be so hard to admit that you are struggling with something when there is so much mum judgement out there, so it was really lovely to have someone I felt so comfortable talking with.
Winnie's eating is slowly improving, I'm continuing to expose her to new food (thanks to all the tips on how to offer a wider variety) without being pushy and it does seem to be working. The biggest change is my own attitude towards her mealtimes and I'm constantly working on trusting her to decide when she's finished eating. I now know how to handle food refusal too and am generally happier (as is Winnie!) at mealtimes.
I’m also more relaxed about letting Winnie play around with mixing and scooping her food and can see the future benefits this will bring in fostering this independence early. Safe to say I learnt a lot from our session - thank you.'
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Kate & her daughter emilia
Why Kate got in touch:
‘My daughter, Emilia, has become very set in her ways when it comes to food and generally sticks with the same meals. She can be quite stubborn and I am at a loss on how to expand her palate without all the begging and bribing – help!!’
How I helped:
Part of the call was spent offering a listening ear after many years of fraught mealtimes, which helped Kate gain a new perspective and feel supported.
We also discussed how helpful ‘family style’ meals (offering food deconstructed in the middle of the table) can reduce a lot of mealtime tension. Taking Kate through my step-by-step practical guide to mealtimes made it very clear on the necessary steps needed to create a happier atmosphere at the table, including how to respond when Emilia says, ‘I’m not a fan of that!’
What Kate now says:
‘I’m in shock..Emilia has jut eaten spicy shredded chicken..gobsmacked! The deconstructed dinners are working a treat. Involving Emilia in the meal planning has also changed the atmosphere at mealtimes as well. It’s not happy faces every mealtime, but the tantrums and anger have reduced massively thanks to your gentle advice. The child who would have happily had pizza or pasta every meal is open to trying other things. The post call summary you sent has been so helpful too.
Emilia is much happier…we’re all happier. I definitely feel like we’re getting somewhere.’
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Jane* and her daughter Olive
Why Jane got in touch:
‘I was struggling to get my 6-year-old to try new food and I was getting into a right state with things and mealtimes had become miserable for both of us to be honest. I knew deep down this was not the way I wanted to handle mealtimes, but I didn’t know how to get out of it!’
How I helped:
We started thinking about the mind-set needed for calmer mealtimes and discussed how important language can be from the parent’s point of view. I gave Jane advice on how to deal with food refusal, in particular when her daughter says, ‘Yuk!’
We also worked out that Jane was getting too involved in her child’s actual eating at the table and so we came up with an easy plan to take a step back.
What Jane now says:
‘The stress has completely gone from mealtimes now I know more about what’s required from me at mealtimes, and as it turns out, that is very little! Grace has shown me that the more we leave our children to explore, the happier mealtimes become and I have come away with some easy-to-use sensory activities we can both do together, but without the pressure this time!’
(*Names changed for privacy reasons)
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Sadie* and her daughter, Holly
Why Sadie got in touch:
‘I have a 2y3m old daughter who has muscular dystrophy. We had been explaining away her lack of eating as a symptom of her condition, however she is now at nursery and when she's there, she eats loads! She is seen by a speech and language therapist as well as a dietitian but I do really feel that a large part of it is coming from our behaviour. I myself, had a very anxious experience around food as a child, regularly being force fed by my parents and I am so scared of repeating history, that I have got into a rut of offering the same food over and over as I am so desperate for her to eat something.
Now my daughter is gaining weight and I’m less worried about that area, I want to work on exposing her to new food, however I have no idea how to do this when I struggle with my own diet. Help!
How I helped:
Given the lack of variety in Holly’s diet, we decided to take the pressure off completely and went back to the very basics and focused on lots of sensory play ideas using touch and smell such as peeling vegetables together and spiralising them!
We spoke about expanding familiar food but just presenting it in different ways and building like that which also took the pressure off to ‘fix’ her daughter’s eating habits immediately! Simple ideas such as serving different shaped pasta and different flavoured yoghurts were quick ways to get more confidence at mealtimes and Sadie has been building ever since.
What Sadie now says:
'I definitely feel much calmer around meal times since our session and that's showing in Holly's attitude too. She has helped me with preparing fruit like chopping pears and peeling oranges which although she didn't eat any, still felt like a really positive experience and she did lick her fingers a few times after the orange! I also left some raisins in a bowl beside us as a snack for myself while we did some colouring and she started eating them and clearly enjoyed them. I made no fuss over it but did an internal little happy dance!
We still have a long way to go obviously but I definitely feel like I'm approaching the situation from a completely different view point and it's making things much happier all round’.
(*Names changed for privacy reasons - no photos for the same reason)
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Maria*, Mark & their daughter, Amelie
Why Maria got in touch:
‘I’d been following Grace on Facebook for a while and liked her tips, but I needed her to tailor them for my fussy 6 year-old! My daughter likes what she likes and doesn’t want to try anything new. Even with things she does like, she can pick over them and is now starting to go off them as well! I once overdid her toast slightly and she said it was too 'scratchy' for her fingers, so this is what we are up against! We are encouraging her to eat, but I fear we are putting too much pressure on her. Lockdown has certainly compounded the issue, as we all sit together 3 meals a day and it’s now time to find a calmer way and sort mealtimes out properly.'
How I helped:
Both Maria and her husband were on the call, which was very helpful, as there were some inconsistencies in how they were both approaching mealtimes. We spoke about the importance of thinking long-term and how to write off ‘dud’ meals rather than get focused and disheartened by them. We spent a good while discussing what our roles are at mealtimes and that of the child, so we could start on a solid foundation before we tackled anything else.
Both Maria and Mark were keen to get the whole family on the same meals, so we came up with a doable plan on how to achieve that slowly over several months, making little changes each time.
What Maria now says:
'Mark and I both feel a sense of relief with the Division Of Responsibility strategy and Amelie does seem more relaxed and she has been trying new/previously disliked foods. I served a small piece of broccoli with her dinner – and she ate the flowery top of it – taking two or three bites!! I nearly fell off my chair. Again this evening, we had a serving bowl of mixed veg and she took a little piece of broccoli and said, 'I'll just try it' and she ate that up too.
Another win was pudding. Due to a shopping order malfunction (aka me forgetting to finalise my order slot!) we had run out of yoghurt and the fruit was all things she'd had earlier with snack or lunch, so I opened a tin of rice pudding and served it with some strawberry compote I'd made (ready to go with the non existent yoghurt!!). Previously Amelie wouldn't go near rice pud, but she said she'd have a small spoonful and lots of compote, and then she tried it, loved it and asked for more!
We are doing more 'family-style' meals which both the children really enjoy & have asked for more of. We are working our way through your recipe suggestions too on your website. Thanks again for all the advice!'
(*Names changed for privacy reasons)
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Petra & her son Dominic
Why Petra got in touch:
I was struggling with my 4 year-old son’s lack of variety in his diet and was getting frustrated with myself (and my son!) as mealtimes were becoming very strained. I felt that the way I was approaching mealtimes wasn’t what I had imagined pre-kids, but I didn’t know of any other way to manage them. My son used to eat most things as a baby (like bananas, apples, carrots, grapes and also meat) but his list of accepted food had got narrower and narrower. I was looking for some practical help on how to reintroduce food to him rather than just begging and pleading with him!
How I helped:
I suggested easy-to-implement ideas such as serving food deconstructed as much as possible in the middle of the table for Dominic to help himself to, has taken the pressure off him (and the parents) to eat an expected amount. This approach helps the child to feel more in control of what they are serving themselves and in turn, are more likely to be a bit less cautious if the pressure is less! We also discussed the kind of language needed to go with this new approach too and how to deal with food refusal with a simple ‘you don’t have to eat it’, rather than engaging in any battles.
What Petra now says:
Since our call, Dominic has licked a hard boiled egg, was tempted to eat a blueberry (but he asked daddy to make it in a banana-blueberry milkshake instead), so he drank that and smelled some fish – I call that progress! He has also been cooking with the childminder, making pizza dough and touching tomatoes and olives.
I now feel more positive that we will get there one day with happier mealtimes and I realise now there is no hurry, we are going at our son's pace.
Sessions needed: 1 (£60 for 1.5 hour phone call ) More info here
Kayleigh & her daughter Ava
Why Kayleigh got in touch:
‘My 3 year old daughter’s eating habits had got so bad she was petrified of going to nursery as she was scared of the lunch they served and I was at my wits’ end to search for ways to help her eat and enjoy food’.
How I helped:
We discovered that Kayleigh had been putting unnecessary (and unintentional) pressure on herself and Ava to eat at mealtimes and she had come to dread this time of day. We discussed some gentle language that could be used in place of her usual frustrations and reactions and also to give herself a break.
We also came up with some easy ideas on how to include Ava more at mealtimes so she feels more in control of what she eats.
I gave Kayleigh a step-by-step summary of our call so she could practise everything we had spoken about and a clear framework to refer to, rather than feeling lost and not knowing where to start.
What Kayleigh now says:
'I relayed our call to my husband and he said the same as me “gosh when someone actually talks you through it you think, why haven’t we just done this before!” It was so supportive and I felt much better.
I tried ‘family-style’ diner last night and was pleasantly surprised! It might have been a fluke but Ava seems to really react well… I made spaghetti bol and a bowl of spag with just her sauce. I put garlic bread, cheddar and red Leciester grated cheese on the table too. Ava chose the spag (lots of it!) and the cheeses and then to my utter surprise also picked up some garlic bread and ate a slice…. She said she wasn’t keen on the red Leciester but I made it clear it honestly didn’t matter and she could have what she wanted. The atmosphere was lovely and calm and happy for once.
Also today at lunch, she actually picked up my pepperoni pizza and nibbled the crust which amazed me but I tried to ignore rather than yell ‘yea!’, however the most amazing thing to have happened was yesterday whilst out with my mum for lunch. Nanna was reading the kiddies menu and Ava stopped her and said “I have never tried a chicken burger Nanna, I will try that”. I almost fell off my chair!! It turned out she didn’t like it and only ate a few chips but I wasn’t bothered at all, it was the fact she was adventurous enough to even say she would have it which made me so proud!'